The Story of My Baptism

I got baptized today! I'm so happy about my decision and am praising God for the conviction He placed on my heart to do so. What a glorious day that will go down in the history of all those who publicly professed their love for the Lord today at my church's baptism!

And some of you may know, this was not my first time.

I know that seems really weird, and rest assured -- I've got my baptism theology straight: water does not save or cleanse anyone (that's Jesus); baptism is a public declaration of dependence on Jesus Christ and is to be done following a person's salvation, thus, infant baptism has no significance in a believer's life; it is a picture of a Christian dying to himself and being raised to life in Christ and is a commandment; it's a one-time thing. Or so I thought.

And it usually is. I've never been one to think that repetitive baptism is asked of us. If someone being baptized were to say they'd been baptized six other times before, I may be a bit skeptical. But that is not what I plan to do.

I was born again about five years ago, and was baptized two years ago after having a bout with bulimia. At the time, I meant it completely. It was exciting, but nothing really changed. Well, that's not entirely true -- I definitely had my highs with God at various points following my decision. But I also had my lows... and they were, well, low.

Almost a year ago I told God, "No, I don't want anything to do with You for now. Maybe in ten years or so I'll come around and decide to have a relationship with You again, but right now I love my eating disorder more than You." And so I spiraled out of control, fast. To put it simply, I was in total darkness for a while before God put His foot down, telling me He had better plans and everything, and brought me back into the light. It was and is painful, but so worth it. I can't really explain this in words as well as I can in music and visual art, but I can begin by choosing words like transformation, dramatic, powerful, and deliverance, for whatever those are worth.

My church announced its annual summer picnic and baptism a couple months ago, and naturally, the thought of signing up to be baptized never crossed my mind. I, of course, did plan on attending in order to fellowship with my church family and be a witness to all the steps in obedience that were to be made (oh, and don't forget the dessert table!). A few of my good friends planned to be baptized, and on one occasion in talking to Lauren about her decision, how she was making a 180 turn and finally releasing control to her Master by allowing Him to transform her life, I remember thinking, I've been baptized before, but this past year has been like God saved me all over again, or something. It's almost like I should get baptized again, hahaha.

So today was the day, and I went into the event so excited for my friends. I sat with my feet in the pool with Jill, Chris, and Maria, and happily watched around ten or so people display their humility before the Lord by getting wet in public. Then I started feeling this searing urge to... go up there... and do it again. What? I thought. I've been baptized before! Surely God wouldn't be telling me to do it again! I tried to deny this call, but it didn't work. My heart started pounding, as I was filled with nerves and doubt. It took every ounce of courage out of me to tap on Jill's shoulder and whisper, "I feel like God's telling me to get baptized."

I was pretty sure she would tell me, "No, Liz, you've already been baptized, I don't think this is God." I just had to make sure I was just going crazy and didn't need to get in line to be immersed. But in fact, Jill, being the godly woman that she is, replied, "Well then, you've gotta do it!" I discussed it a bit more with her, reminding her I've been baptized before and explaining to her my confusion. Then I stood up and walked over to the entrance to the pool, trembling with every step. Joanne was there, and I told her I was getting baptized. "But... but I thought it was like, a one-time thing!"

"It usually is, but you can rededicate."

Oh, I'm one of those people.

So after I got over the initial pride of not wanting to be someone who comes sheepishly back to Jesus, asking for some grace because oh gosh, I've screwed up again, I grabbed the microphone and told the congregation that they might be confused why I was getting baptized for a second time and why my name wasn't on the list in the program, but based on the events of this past year and the current feeling of my heart beating out of my chest, I felt the need to consecrate myself to God once more.

And I did it.



I walked over to the end of the pool, and saw my sisters waiting for me with huge smiles on their faces. I received loving, awesome hugs, and many congrats, ate dessert, and went home, asking myself if I really just did that.

I'm still in shock. But I can't stop thanking my Lord for knowing what I needed today and informing me of it! I'm trying this thing again. Please pray for me as I begin the next chapter of my life.